lame little life update
january felt a lot like an extended holiday break because of how fun and novel everything was. i was worried about what would happen after the high of that time passed, and wondered when i might go back to feeling my usual nauseating level of stressed out and left behind.
to my surprise, after over a month (and even with a couple of flop days peppered throughout), that feeling has still not returned! it feels weird to be so present and content after a long period of being a person who is so so anxious about everything. i've been noticing how much easier it is to shake myself out of funks or potential spirals, how much brighter and more engaged i am in conversation with the people i love, etc. YAY!!!
i'm happy that it's a change that didn't only last a month – while things do feel more normal now, today's normal is more upbeat than my normal of a few months ago. (hope that makes sense to someone other than me...)
here's some stuff i've been up to:
- working on this site, of course! i'm particularly pleased with this new header, the launch of the maisonette (MY FRIENDS ARE SO COOL...), and the florilegium.
- got a couple of commissions done that i'd been gritting my teeth about for a while. they were both very enjoyable to do, but i get real intimidated by things that i know are time-consuming, no matter how enjoyable!! but i'm so happy with how they turned out, and the clients liked them too, so it was a huge win!
- continuing to try and lift heavier and more consistently 💪
- did an art trade with a ducktales fanartist i admire. we drew each other's yume ships – you can find what she drew of huey and maggie on my treasures page!! it's such an honor to have her draw my socially awkward bird child...
- we also did a magma drawing session together. it was a fun challenge and definitely something i recommend if you're making friends who don't speak the same language as you! visual messaging does wonders.
- i felt very silly typing korean into papago to translate it to japanese and then double-check it in english before sending every message to the above ducktales friend, and decided i should probably try to pick up japanese again after many years.
- my first session went just fine, and it was a pleasant surprise to discover that the tutor i booked with was a big disney fan as well!
- i really would like to get back into my language studies...
- i start a new job in april! 🎉
- i've been really liking the game stacklands.
- i redownloaded a dating app and then deleted my account again in a span of three weeks (which is longer than usual, honestly, so good job me). i fear i must take a different approach to pursuing romance. if you know any nerdy lanky kind people who like strong-willed weird girls please send them my way. i can be kind too.
what else... ah! although i have been enjoying life more these days, i am not totally immune to worry (which is good – feel like it would be alarming if i were). my current concern is that i feel like my social media addiction has gotten worse these days. i have never been good at going to bed, but these days i feel like i'm programmed to keep opening up the same few apps and checking for notifications, then scrolling through the recommended feed. ENOUGH!!!
in the past i've set time limits on certain apps or increased friction by putting them in the "hidden" section on my phone. in the moment i remember being like "well this isn't doing anything" (which is why i stopped) but i probably still scrolled a bit less then than i do now. i fear i may just have to delete certain apps entirely, and only access them on web/my laptop. but i don't know. i'm pretty bad at following my own rules most of the time :)
this entry was a lame one but for some reason i feel compelled to write an entry every month. anyway i do not assume people are like "hell yeah! mei diary entry update!" enough (if at all) to be disappointed by this. still i hope i have something interesting to say in april LOL