mei's mindscape

14 mar 2025. january felt a lot like an extended holiday break because of how fun and novel everything was. i was worried about what would happen after the high of that time passed, and wondered when i might go back to feeling my usual nauseating level of stressed out and left behind. to my surprise, after over a month (and even with a couple of flop days peppered throughout), that feeling has still not returned! it feels weird to be so present and content after a long period of being a person who is so so... Read more?

5 feb 2025. hello, 2025! we're over a month into the new year and it's been going... actually really well for me, LOL. i know i shouldn't feel weird about that, but i'm so used to being tense and panicked about life even when things are nice, and over the past month i have Not Been. yay for mood-regulating medication? anyway, part of what made january so fun was that my sister and i took a short girls' trip to tokyo, which i want to document here! we both had reasons for wanting to go: my sister wanted to... Read more?

25 dec 2024. happy holidays! christmas day is an easy day for me, since my family tends to do our celebration on christmas eve. we're out of town for christmas this year and held the gift exchange in my and my sister's hotel room before engaging in karaoke using my portable karaoke machine + youtube. our room is in the corner of the top floor of this small hotel, so we didn't get any noise complaints! (we also weren't very loud.) i got a lot of lovely gifts from my family – things on my wishlist and even... Read more?

22 nov 2024. i wonder if other people notice the identities or values they've outgrown as soon as they outgrow them – or if, like me, it takes them a few months or years before they're like, "oh, i don't really connect with that thing i took very seriously/hinged my whole personality on anymore. huh. weird." i was thinking about this because lately i've noticed my style changing a little! i used to only wear a few colors (pink, black, cream, the occasional red) but i bought a skirt with big yellow... Read more?

15 oct 2024. i've had a very unrestful 2 1/2 weeks, but i think it's about to be over before i hit 3, which is GOOD!!! i'll get the complainy parts out of the way first before getting to the nicer bits. the reason for my exhaustion is that my dog has been in heat and has obviously not been having a good time. this is her THIRD cycle since we got her spayed, by the way!! that's right – i am NOT an irresponsible dog owner lmfao. she apparently has something called ovarian remnant syndrome, in which some cell... Read more?

27 sept 2024. i keep being like "it's not been that long since my last diary entry" and then before i know it, a month and a half goes by. OKAY!!! i would like to write more frequently, since this is a diary after all. the past few weeks have been very stressful for me! my break from my program finally ended and i got back into preparing for the practicum part of it, which is the last leg of the program. my instructor for these last 14 weeks of the program was so immediately sweet and supportive,... Read more?

15 aug 2024. this week i got back from a short trip to melbourne! it was my first solo trip that wasn't for school purposes, and something i'd wanted to do for a while. i wasn't looking at melbourne specifically, but i saw that my favorite comedian (gianmarco soresi) was doing an australia tour and thought that was as good a reason as any to head over, so i designed my trip around that event. even though the whole point of this trip was to go off on my own, i was a little sad about it when the time came... Read more?

18 jul 2024. it was my birthday recently! this was my first birthday in a long while that wasn't preceded by a week of me being the most insane version of myself, which i'm grateful for... i'm pretty sure my more stable moods have a lot to do with the recent sleep/fitness changes i've made, alongside just getting a little older! my family greeted me in the morning with flowers, and worm was so so excited about everyone being in our room!!!! she probably thought it was her birthday. specialest girl in the... Read more?