slow changes
i wonder if other people notice the identities or values they've outgrown as soon as they outgrow them – or if, like me, it takes them a few months or years before they're like, "oh, i don't really connect with that thing i took very seriously/hinged my whole personality on anymore. huh. weird."
i was thinking about this because lately i've noticed my style changing a little! i used to only wear a few colors (pink, black, cream, the occasional red) but i bought a skirt with big yellow flowers the other day and really love it. one of my favorite dresses is one i got this year that my sister picked out for me, and it's bright blue. i think learning i was a light spring gave me a new way to look at colors and dressing up.
i see this also in the stuff i pick out or the people i engage with. i guess the best way to describe this change is that i'm becoming more comfortable with being "off-brand" or incorporating new things into my "brand", which is something i would not have said of myself 5 years ago. i was very committed to the aesthetic / persona i wanted to embody back then and did not love straying from it. it's quite freeing to be a little less like that now!!
i was gonna say i've been a little crazy these past few weeks, but i've probably been... just as crazy as i normally am LOL. i'm chugging along and getting stuff done and spending time with family and chatting with friends. i think i'm doing a fine job staying afloat, and i've had a lot of enjoyable moments! but as usual, i don't feel able to slow down or relax at all........ girl help
a lot of my morning journal pages are just me listing out things i have to do or want to get back into because i constantly feel like i have no time, even if i have enough time to sit here long enough to type this journal entry or draw a bit. it's very much a See A Brain Doctor sort of problem, but thankfully i've got another appointment set up.
the holidays are coming soon though, and i'm looking forward to some family-mandated downtime. even if i don't actually relax, it'll be nice to feel like it's okay to relax, yanno?
this was kind of a boring diary entry... maybe i'll write another one again soon, but i just wanted to write one since it's been over a month! if you read this, here's a ducktales meme i saw on twitter. hubert duck i love you so
